Being Selfless
by OtakuIsLove
Summary: "I'm sorry okay! It wasn't my choice if I liked you - I fancied you. Whatever term it is!" his arms shook. And his tendons showed. "Now we can't talk to each other because it will be awkward. Just don't see me anymore Rima. We can't be friends anymore."


A/N: another one of my foolish ideas. I hope this is okay. Anyway this one-shot is dedicated to Maj! ( you know who you are!) because it was her birthday. Happy birthday happy birthday. I'd sing but many would disprove so I wrote you this instead! ;)

by the way, about Love Decoy, I'm so sad to inform you guys that my laptop's AC adopter broke down. I'm still trying to find a new suitable charger. Rest assured, I'd go back to posting LD within this year. Enjoy this for the mean time! ;)

**Being Selfless**

She entered the staff office with a resolute air. As usual, there were books on the shelves, others hobbled and littered on the couches. The school paper, advertisements of wanted Level E vampires and necessary precautions against humans were posted untidily on the cement walls. The potted plant was standing beside the window,it's blinds were closed shut so that only little moonlight entered. There wasn't anything peculiar inside of it but as her eyes glazed on the entire room, She realized that a blond man was sitting on a table beside hers.

He looked up as soon as he heard the door click shut. Then smiled as he met her eyes. "You're here. I was waiting for you for ages"

She took unwanted steps in front of his table. "have you?"

"yes" he said. "I wanted a word"

"that's a surprise" She coolly said but nonetheless, She took a seat in front of his table.

"How's modeling?"

"fine"

"How are the classes?"

"fine"

"the teachers?"

"fine"

"the-"

"is this some kind of evaluation interview?" She cut in.

Takuma looked genuinely amused at her tone and twiddled his fingers on the table.

"I just wanted to ask how you're doing."

"It's fine okay?" She said. "It's fine"

"Funny" he said. "It doesn't sound fine, judging by the way you said it"

There was something in his voice that hinted malice and She didn't like it. It suddenly made her vulnerable – naked – as if she was too easy to read and it angered her because she was never, never too easy to read. She felt her fists curl.

"It doesn't have to be about my tone. I know how I'm fine you don't have to judge. It's.. unnecessary." _and annoying_ She wanted to add. But She didn't want to test his patience. Especially when She knew he was Kaname's right hand.

He laughed gently. It annoyed her even more. He shook his head from left to right and stared at her again with those green eyes. Then, he stood up, fluidly - gracefully, and sat in the chair across from her so that there wasn't any table separating them. Deeply unnerved she did nothing but glared through her eyelids.

"Rima" he said. "I want to know how you're doing with your friends"

This time he sounded sincere, quiet. As if he hadn't laughed a while ago. It seem very odd, like changing into another scenery or weather all of a sudden.

"My friends and I are on the best of terms thank you very much" She snapped.

He raised an eyebrow. "really? There weren't any fights? With.. Senri?"

Her suspicions were proved. The moment he said his name the pits inside her stomach opened up and a new hurt coiled inside. She couldn't look, couldn't stare. The way he said it made it more true, factual. And She wasn't any good in dealing with truth because in every truth, almost everything would hurt.

"That's nothing" She said. "It was a stupid fight. Besides, you shouldn't go barging in our business. It would be best if you leave it alone okay? Don't make it worst than it already is"

"I wasn't barging" he said. "I was merely seeking for confirmation that such thing happened and it did, indeed." his hand went consolingly on my right shoulder. "what happened?"

"Didn't I tell you to mind your own-"

"tell me one time where you didn't barge into others business and I'll let this go"

She shut up because She couldn't think of any. His hand were still clutching her shoulder and She had to admit, his hand made his words a little bearable. So She sighed and told him the reason.

When She was done his face was stoic. "A girl huh?"

Then She heard it again. The malice. "It wasn't like that! I was just complaining about why the hell we weren't on each others company any more okay? It's nothing of anything of what your thinking! Senri's a friend, a good one."

"A good one that could eventually go beyond those boundaries you mean?"

"what do you mean?" She retorted.

"Maybe you were expecting him to like you more than a friend"

"I-" She turned red. "How dare you – I think nothing of it!"

Her voice was shrill, even nervous and it didn't do her any good. The damage was done.

"Listen Rima" he said and his face closed in on her. That she was surprised at this sudden action of his. It was so unlike him. "You are a decent girl. A feisty, intelligent,gifted and beautiful girl." he said this with firmness that her face became warmer. Did he just call her beautiful? "And if Senri's gonna go act like an ass, then maybe he doesn't deserve you."

"Woah.. woah" She said. "what is this about? What do you mean he doesn't deserve me?" She spat. "Of course he deserves me! We're friends that fought and despite that, we deserve each others friendship! What makes you think-?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I mean him, being your boyfriend."

"boyfriend?" She tripped on the word. That does not appear to be an ideal thing whenever I think of Senri. He was far too off with that word.

"Yes" he said.

She stood up. Not liking their conversation at all. "Takuma, you have a very blunt view of how I look at him and with all sense and honesty, I do _not_ look at him like that nor any other things you must have thought about that is related to romance."

He stood up too and immediately hovered over her. She started to get really uncomfortable especially because he was walking towards her when there was no space for him to walk to and she was deduced to force her legs to lean against the table, trapped in front of him. She was sure as hell that She never desired her afternoon like this. Being forced to lean away and him getting closer and closer. She fervently prayed that someone – anyone – would think of visiting the staff office. Right now. Let anyone come.

"If he hurts you – if he tries to trouble you again-" there was venom in his voice. "I shall break him." his left hand snatched her right arm and his right on her left. "Tell Senri, tell him I command him to be your friend again. Tell him to make you happy"

"Takuma" She murmured. and for once, She appreciated all the things he has done. He wanted her to be happy, wanted her.. he wanted her.. _He wanted her. _Was this the reason why he wanted to threaten Senri into not letting her get hurt? Did Takuma care for her that way? Or was that just her absurd peripheral imagination?

"Rima" He said firmly. His eyes heatedly gazing over hers. "He wants you. He tells me about you every morning and every night. There's something about his tone that made me think he has been holding off his affection for you for too long and I-" He moved closer. "I can't help but feel.. protective. Because of all the things he's been saying. How vulnerable you might be. How smooth your skin is. How you used to sing to him when he was on the hospital wing. How you cried over him when he was unconscious. How you shared pocky passion with him." he sighed but his grip on her arms only grew tighter.

"He used to tell me how your laughter made his insides roar with delight. How he thinks you're very special and responsible and beautiful and how perfect you are for him that he was never deserving to be with you. So he.. he pretended everything was lovely and tried to date many women as possible. Just to get you out of his mind."

She listened with disbelief.

"He's avoiding me" She mumbled. "He doesn't like me that way. He avoids me because he's grown weary of me."

He laughed but it was more of a jeer. "you think so do you? It sounds very comical.. those views coming from you"

"I think you're delusional." She snapped. "Takuma. I'm warning you, let me go"

There were footsteps approaching. _Let it go in. let someone intervene. Anyone.._

Then he grinned and swooped her lips in one motion. He was kissing her and she would be lying if she wouldn't admit it made her light headed and woozy. She started to melt, on the spot. His arms were everywhere. Tightening around her so that she could not escape. Yet escaping seem not to have any meaning to her right now. It was him. Only him and her right now. In this slightly messy office, sharing kisses together. Takuma, and the feel of him, the moist and slightly lips of his covering hers, them putting it on action..

_bang!_

The door opened.

"OY!" someone yelled. "get the fuck off of her you filthy hypocrite!"

They broke apart. Rima looked alarmed and fearful but Takuma looked unconcerned. He even smiled at her. They stared at the new comer and her insides turned cold. It was Senri.

"what" he bellowed. "do you think you're doing to her? To HER? You- you foul!" he made angry moves towards Takuma but Rima got in between them and used both arms to set them apart.

Senri was panting very angrily, his eyes set on his friend who, had a glint of triumph on his green eyes. If Takuma wasn't forcing his smile so much, it would've been the cue for Senri to punch him.

"Why did you do that!" he yelled. Trying to evade Rima's outstretched hand. "You have no authority – she's – precious you ugly bastard you – git – fuck y- "

Takuma looked at him as if he was bored with the proceedings. "You see Rima?" he turned to her. "Isn't the act of jealousy a big sign of attraction?" then he shot Senri a huge grin. "You must tell her everything Senri because if you won't, I will be there first. And I shall kiss her again. And I shall fight for her this time. One chance Senri." then he disappeared out the office.

Rima stared at the door in stony silence.

"What is going on? What did he mean fight for me? Is he insane?" she shrieked. "what are you doing in here anyway?"

"I-" he looked angry again. "nothing. None of your business."

He turned to go.

"are you jealous?"

the words made his legs jerk to a stop.

"Like I said-"

"It's my business if you've been dating other girls just to avoid me or stop your attraction towards me." She said

He turned to look at her again and this time he took small steps towards her. "He told you? HE TOLD YOU!" he exploded.

"So what?" She yelled back. "I don't give a damn if he tells me! You've been such an idiot. And this is the reason why we fought! Why you.. you don't show up anymore! All because of this stupid attraction-"

"don't call it stupid!" he snapped. "you've no idea what I've gone through! What I wouldn't give to stop me from feeling like this! It maddened me, I can't control it!"

"Then why bother controlling it?" she piped up. "You should have told me! You should not have been an idiot. It made me miserable! Not able to talk to you! Oh, Senri!"

"I'm sorry okay! It wasn't my choice if I liked you - I fancied you. Whatever term it is!" his arms shook. And his tendons showed. "Now we can't talk to each other because it will be awkward. Just don't see me anymore Rima. We can't be friends anymore."

"and why not?" she challenged. "Just because of that feeling you won't be my friend anymore? I never knew you to be so shallow! You are so downright stupid Senri! We can't end our friendship because of this! It won't be awkward at all! And I bet it'd even be normal! You just have to.."

her voice trailed off as soon as she saw his face. It looked miserable and full of dread.

"Rima" he said. "we can't."

Then she understood.

It wasn't the friendship he was talking about. He could be friends with her anytime. He needed her. _Really_ needed her for something she wasn't prepared for. The commitment, the affection. She didn't know what to do. Standing there and looking at him looking at her with sadness.

"Senri.." she crossed the space between them and hugged him with all her might. "we can try. We can. It is possible-"

"no" he shoved her away. "You're only saying that because you don't want to lose me, or my friendship. It has nothing to do with feelings. Nothing with desire. You're being selfless again." then he shook his head. "another reason why I don't deserve you.." he mumbled.

"It can work!" she said. "I like you too"

then as she said it, without thinking about it, she suddenly knew they were true. Funny how sometimes, when you never even spoke of things and the first time you say it, you know of it as true. The verity of it rang in every word.

"I like you" her face lit up. "and that's why I get envious of girls who talk to you, support you through everything. Even fight with you to teach you the right thing. Oh my God.." her voice trailed off again. "I really do like you!" she gazed at him.

"You do?" he said suspiciously. "no you don't. You have no idea-"

"oh shut up!" she yelled and grabbed his head to do what attracted people do to those who they are attracted with.

Outside, Takuma sighed. Yet it was a happy one. Still, he couldn't help the tiny hope that sprouted in him. That Rima was gonna realize how he wanted her too. He hoped that the earlier kiss would awaken her and let her realize that Takuma had always cared, for her benefit. But as he heard them sharing their love inside the office, he smiled and wished her to be happy because that was the only thing he wanted for her. He cursed Senri, obviously, but he wished him happy just as well, yet in his mind, he threatened him to take care of her. Then with a sudden air of determination, he forced a grin on his face and turned the sign hanging in the staff door into 'close' so that no one could disturb the couple inside. Then he walked. He walked wherever he could find comfort. Because being in love and disappointed by it had hurt. And he very much hoped this wasn't going to happen to him anymore. Because being good was sometimes a bad thing.

A/N: would you like to say anything? Then if yes, please review.


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